Monday, November 29, 2004

Friday, November 26, 2004

Ha!

So, yesterday rocked, I had thanksgiving with my family, then I came home and played Halo 2 with my twin and a couple of buddies. After two hours of gaming, we sat around and played poker for two hours.

I slept like a rock.

At one today I'll be going in to work. Black friday everyone! It's going to be super crazy.

"And the sign said long-haired, freaky people need not apply!"

Ha HA!
Enjoy the season

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Thanksgiving

Turkey with the fam....getting ready to go soon. It's nice to have people to spend thanksgiving with :-) Have a good holiday season.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Ahh!!!

It's official, my life sucks!!! I still haven't heard from Sara, and I'm tired of feeling like garbage. I'm sick of being treated like it, but I'm not ready to just walk away!!

WHY AM I BEING TREATED THIS WAY?!??!!!

I'd write her, but I can't even think anymore. I can't write for myself, let alone to anyone. My life is being drained slowly. I'm being punished for a crime I didn't commit, and I'm starting to lose it.

I don't know how much longer I can last. I know, "she's just girl, there's plenty of fish in the sea." Yeah, but this one liked me for ME!!! At least I thought she did. You can be cynical, you can tell me I'm over reacting, but you're not going through what I am.

I'M NOT PERFECT, BUT I'M TRYING. YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ME THROUGH HELL???

Uhh....?

Relationships are hard. But I knew that already, and even if this were a hundred times harder, I'd still want to work at it. I just wish Sara felt the same. I want to work things out, or at the very least, find out what's going on so I can get on with my life.

I just want my best friend back. I want to be able to sleep again, and I want to be able to DO something during the day.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to listen to TobyMac and pray to God.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Cars and those who need them

So a couple of weeks ago my transmission pretty much died on me. It's an '85 accord, so yeah it's old, but it only has 115,000 miles on it. (That's low for a twenty year old car.)
I've been using my parents' car when it was available, but they want me to get one soon (like January). I'm looking at a Scion. I figure if I'm going to be paying $250 a month I might as well get something decent.

I don't know what I should get, I just want something that will get me low insurance, high mileage, and very low maintenance. Any suggestions?

God will provide.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

this is an audio post - click to play

Compy 386??

Compy 386??

Music binge

Ok, not really, I only bought three CD's. The Streets "A Grand Don't Come For Free". This guy is awesome, kind of house music, but not really. The whole album follows a story line, it's unique and weird, but it's cool. I give it 6 out of 10.

Next is the new TobyMac, "DiverCity". This is a fantastic follow-up to his first solo album. It's very Toby, but different from anything else he's done. 10 out of 10.

Finally I got Grits "Dichotomy B". It's Grits. If you don't know the group, then find out. They're a Christian Rap duo, and they are great. It's the follow-up to "Dichotomy A" which came out in August this year. Check them out. 9 out of 10.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Last night...

So, I saw Elizabeth last night. She's an old friend of mine from before I moved to Portland. It was great to see her, I could finally laugh again. I haven't enjoyed myself much this week. Elizabeth was more than just a friend to me, I mean, I used to have "feelings" for her. Our "relationship" never went farther that just being friends though.

I don't know what anyone is going to think about hanging out with her, but she's only my friend, and I needed to see a friend. I don't have feelings for her anymore, and I'm not going to.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

this is an audio post - click to play

This is me a couple of years ago. It's the best pic I have

My life summary

So, you want to know who Giles is? First of all, it's pronounced "Jiles". I'm a simple man with a complicated life.

At age 11 I started working for my parents' A/V company, based out of Denver, CO. They work primarily with Christian conferences and conventions, traveling all over the country. I worked for them for eight years, learning how to be a pro Rodie, and for four of those years, I was the monitor engineer, making $250 a day.

But I gave it up to pursue a career in writing. I moved in with my best friend, Gabe, in Portland. I worked for a local store in the shoe department (second worst job I've ever had) and later, trying to sell Sunday School curriculum over the phone (worst job ever). I quit both of those jobs to return to work with my parents, flying in to work the jobs they needed me to, but after five days, a major contract that they were bidding on fell through, and since they had four full time employees to think of, the had to let me go. That was in May of 2004. The arranged the budget so that I could work their two major jobs in July, but after that I was on my own.

Let me interrupt my story here by saying I am a strongly devout Christian. I trust in God as my only hope of getting to heaven. There is only one God, one spiritual Absolute, and there is definitely a right, wrong, heaven and HELL.

I tell you that because as I contemplated my future (not desiring to go to college) I sought wisdom from God. I spent some time in Denver between the two jobs in July, and by the time I'd finished my work at the second show, I knew God was leading me back to Denver.

Now, over the previous year, I had the chance to get to know some people, developing some strong friendships. Among these was Sara. After my best Gabe moved to Florida to manage a small hotel, I started spending a good deal of time with her. At the time, I knew I could be attracted to her, but I was more than content being friends. Besides, she didn't like me "that way". Only two weeks before I was scheduled to return to Denver, though, I found out that she did in fact like me.

We talked about it for the next two weeks, and after I was settled back in with my parents, we decided to move forward with a long distance relationship. But lately, things aren't going so well. I'm not sure what's going on, but there's a lack of communication. All I know is that I was putting a lot of pressure on her and making her uncomfortable. She hasn't talk to me in over a week, and I fear that I may never hear from her again. I found out through her sister that we're "on a break".

I'll admit in a heartbeat that I'm not perfect, and in hindsight, I was putting too much pressure on her, not to mention the fact that her parents don't approve of me. I knew I was putting a little too much pressure on her, and I was trying to back off, but she never told me what was going on. I wish she had so that I could make things right.

I'm writing this now just to get it off my chest, maybe hope that she'll see it. If you do, Sara, I'm sorry, I was wrong to pressure you. I miss you, and I want to make things work. Please call me.

At this point, I'm working part time for Borders Books and Music. I've been writing some, but I realize that even though I write really well when I'm inspired, I need to learn how to write better, and how to write when I'm not inspired. I know this will help me with my writing because I'll do it on a regular basis and it helps me sort my thoughts in a way that people will read it. But I want to go to school. My big dream is to see England, and as part of that I am looking into a summer study program at Cambridge. I don't know what the future holds, but my hopes are high.

God will provide.
Giles