Thursday, November 18, 2004

My life summary

So, you want to know who Giles is? First of all, it's pronounced "Jiles". I'm a simple man with a complicated life.

At age 11 I started working for my parents' A/V company, based out of Denver, CO. They work primarily with Christian conferences and conventions, traveling all over the country. I worked for them for eight years, learning how to be a pro Rodie, and for four of those years, I was the monitor engineer, making $250 a day.

But I gave it up to pursue a career in writing. I moved in with my best friend, Gabe, in Portland. I worked for a local store in the shoe department (second worst job I've ever had) and later, trying to sell Sunday School curriculum over the phone (worst job ever). I quit both of those jobs to return to work with my parents, flying in to work the jobs they needed me to, but after five days, a major contract that they were bidding on fell through, and since they had four full time employees to think of, the had to let me go. That was in May of 2004. The arranged the budget so that I could work their two major jobs in July, but after that I was on my own.

Let me interrupt my story here by saying I am a strongly devout Christian. I trust in God as my only hope of getting to heaven. There is only one God, one spiritual Absolute, and there is definitely a right, wrong, heaven and HELL.

I tell you that because as I contemplated my future (not desiring to go to college) I sought wisdom from God. I spent some time in Denver between the two jobs in July, and by the time I'd finished my work at the second show, I knew God was leading me back to Denver.

Now, over the previous year, I had the chance to get to know some people, developing some strong friendships. Among these was Sara. After my best Gabe moved to Florida to manage a small hotel, I started spending a good deal of time with her. At the time, I knew I could be attracted to her, but I was more than content being friends. Besides, she didn't like me "that way". Only two weeks before I was scheduled to return to Denver, though, I found out that she did in fact like me.

We talked about it for the next two weeks, and after I was settled back in with my parents, we decided to move forward with a long distance relationship. But lately, things aren't going so well. I'm not sure what's going on, but there's a lack of communication. All I know is that I was putting a lot of pressure on her and making her uncomfortable. She hasn't talk to me in over a week, and I fear that I may never hear from her again. I found out through her sister that we're "on a break".

I'll admit in a heartbeat that I'm not perfect, and in hindsight, I was putting too much pressure on her, not to mention the fact that her parents don't approve of me. I knew I was putting a little too much pressure on her, and I was trying to back off, but she never told me what was going on. I wish she had so that I could make things right.

I'm writing this now just to get it off my chest, maybe hope that she'll see it. If you do, Sara, I'm sorry, I was wrong to pressure you. I miss you, and I want to make things work. Please call me.

At this point, I'm working part time for Borders Books and Music. I've been writing some, but I realize that even though I write really well when I'm inspired, I need to learn how to write better, and how to write when I'm not inspired. I know this will help me with my writing because I'll do it on a regular basis and it helps me sort my thoughts in a way that people will read it. But I want to go to school. My big dream is to see England, and as part of that I am looking into a summer study program at Cambridge. I don't know what the future holds, but my hopes are high.

God will provide.

1 comment:

  1. True, God will provide. You have to uphold your end of the bargain though. Good luck in your future endeavors.