Saturday, December 31, 2005

So, I did it...

I signed up for CAD premium. Ctrl-Alt-Del has a premium package to view their once a month cartoon, exclusive comics, desktops, and artwork. I signed up, for only 19.95 for the year!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas Update

Ok, so when I wrote the last post, I was tired from a long day of work, and apprehensive about my extended family. Christmas was actually very fun this year, and it was spent honoring God. Just thought I'd say something so you would know I'm not a scrooge.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

I've said it before....

And I'll say it again. I HATE Christmas!!!! It's all about the crap you do or don't get. You get worthless crap, you hate it, and then you feel cheated. I hate the materialism of this holiday.

They say this holiday is about spending time with your family; all I want to do is think about myself. Everyone is wrong!! It's about GOD, and we need to be thinking about him, not our families, not ourselves, not the stuff that we unwrap from underneath the tree. I HATE THIS HOLIDAY!!

Christmas eve....

It's 6:20 in the morning, I've been up since 5:50. I went to bed and quarter to 1 'cause it was Steve's birthday, and we took him out for dinner last night. I'm not complaining.....yet. Like I said, it's Christmas eve....and we all know how much I love this season. It hasn't been bad yet, but I have a feeling...well...we'll see what happens. I just know I'm going to be tired for the next week as a result of working 50 hours in one week, plus having to write for FC, not to mention family events that I have no clue how I managed to get time for, but it's going to be exhausting.

Merry Christmas Eve......

Thursday, December 15, 2005

A couple of things

So, yesterday I picked up the movie About a Boy. I love this movie. The book was writen by the same guy who wrote High Fidelity, and both of those movies rock. I really, really, REALLY like them. This one particularly because of how it's about the fact that you can't survive on your own. You need other people. "Back-up" as they say in the movie. That's how I feel, and that's why I'm trying out new churches to see if I can get people in my life aside from just Gabe and Steve. I need more back-up than I already have.

Why is it that I don't have any matches yet on eHarmony? Not a HUGE deal, it's just a little anoying. I want to meet someone!

Gabe needs help. He adopted a cat yesterday (stray in the school across from his folks' house) and at the moment he can't afford to take the cat to the vet. He want's to take care of the cat, but he might be forced to take him to a shelter. Please help save Max by clicking on Gabe's link. Donate some money through the paypal button.

Ok, that's all for now.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Flatiron City....

So, yesterday we bought flatironcity.com. At the moment it's only pointing you to the current blogger page, but hopefully we'll have our own site up and running really soon. Keep an eye out!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Living in Harmony, part 2!

So, when I signed up for eharmony the first time, they said I'm not matchable. I think that's because I was under 21 at the time, but guess what, I signed up again, AND NOW I HAVE MATCHES!!!!!

"New" Music

I picked up the Halo 2 soundtrack today. I've been wanting this album since it came out, the music rocks!! Anyway, I just thought ya'll'd like to know.

Oh, Gabe hasn't posted anything for Flatiron City this week, so if you bugged him enough, he might get something up.

Friday, December 09, 2005

What I did last night

So, around 4:30 Gabe offered to wrap my brother's gift from me, so I let him and opened a Sapporo. I sipped it for about an hour and a half. Good stuff!

I went down to my grandparents' for dinner, then around 9, we went to the theater. I wanted to get a drink with my friends, so we went to D&B. The bartender recommended this watermelon, vodka drink, that was ok, but too sweet. Gabe bought that and the Chocolate Cake shot that I did. That was good. Then I tried a weird drink that had vodka, gin, rum, and tequila. It was supposed to have hard cider to cut it, but they didn't have any cider, so I got Coors light :P It was really weird.

I have no problem with being a lightweight, and I'm glad Gabe and Steve weren't the kind of guys to get me drunk. They let me have three, then we went to the theater and watched Narnia. Check that one out, I'm going to try and see it again.

So that's it, I tried some new stuff, discovered my limits on alcohol consumption without getting drunk, and I got home safely. All in all, it was a good birthday.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Guess what guess what guessssswhaaaaatt!!!!

IT'S MAH BIRFDAY!!!!! That's right ladies and gentlemen, I am 21 today!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

Monday, December 05, 2005

APPLE STORE!!

So, some time yesterday or today (not sure wich) I found out they built an APPLE STORE in the mall next to the store where I work!! Friggin sweet huh? I was jumping around like a giddy little child in a candy store!! Sooooo excited....apple next to where I WORK!!!! WOO HOO!!!


Then I woke up:-( It was just a dream. I want an apple store next to where I work:-(

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Life draws near........

So, I'm in a good mood. Tips sucked today, but that doesn't matter. I started reading "The Case for Christ", and I really need to read this book. At work today, some of my coworkers said some stuff that shook my faith. But then I remembered, they've gotten their oppinions from ONE book. I've gotten mine from a LIFETIME of study. Maybe not hardcore, daily, lock myself in a room with a book study, but I've been learning this stuff on my own for most of my life. Guess what? It'll take more than your ignorance to turn me!

I'm enjoying writing. That's all I have to say for now.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Doo doo du dooo:-)

Have I mentioned how much I want to WRITE??!?!! I would LOVE to be able to quit my job, and write full time. I just CAN'T express HOW MUCH I WANT THIS!! This is what I LOVE! I just have no clue where to begin. I just don't know what to start. God, please lead me. PLEASE!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Oh I'm so sleepy

I love thanksgiving.

Moving on. Tomorrow is Friday. That means a Flatiron post should be up, but I don't know if Gabe will be able to get his story finished in time.

So, my holidays are coming out with a good start. I had a good day today. I keep getting this feeling that things are going to pick up for me, but that "event" is just out of reach! I can almost reach it, if I try, but I'm trying not to try for it. I'm looking forward the future, but I need to get my relationship with God back in order. I keep falling behind. But I do want that bright future!

TURKEY DAY!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!! Make sure you thank God for all the blessings you have!! I know I will, even though I don't have everything I want. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for, so PRAISE JESUS!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Gaming

So, I'm over at my brother's friend's house. We're gonna play Warcraft III over a LAN. It's going to be fun. SO DON'T BUG ME!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Sunday, November 20, 2005

ANNOYED!

Ok, so from 3-4 pm today, I'm working in the cafe at my store, and we had AT LEAST 60 people come through and buy something. If each of them would have tipped 50cents, we would have made ten bucks each (there were three of us) IN ONE HOUR. We had $1.75ish to split three ways. COME ON PEOPLE this ISN'T A HOBBY!!!! A nickel each would have given us three dollars to split. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? You think we LIKE putting up with your ATTITUDE? We have to smile and be polite, while YOU are RUDE, IMPATIENT, and so UTTERLY STINGY that our day gets ruined.

Just had to get that out of my system.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Oh yeah, it's Friday....

Flatiron City is posted for the week.

\/\/007 /\/\0\/13

Just went and saw HP last night, midnight show. IT ROCKED!! I loved it. No, they didn't stay one hundred percent to the book, but who cares? The movie was awesome. I really enjoyed it, more than the first three.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Writer's block

I don't know what to do. I just can't think anymore. I want to write a good story, but I'm fresh out of good ideas. I was hoping to get some writing done today. Grrr!!! Everything I write tends to move in the same direction: downhill. If I have a good idea, I kill it by following the same pattern, or I quite because I don't know how to describe what's going on. I don't want to write Pulp fiction, I want something new and different. But what do I write? My fantasy story idea is lame, same with the mystery, Flatiron seems to have hit a wall. I have something for friday, and I'm excited about it, but I can't get another story writen. I don't know what people want to read about, what I want to talk about. Where do the characters need to go? What is next in their lives? What should I write? I need ideas, and I need a new dirrection to take my stories. AHHH!!!!!! THE INSANITY!!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Wow, lots of posts

I know I've been posting a lot more lately, but that's because I have alot to say. Which brings me to the actual topic of this post. I want someone to chat with. I want a real conversation with someone interesting. Gabe is cool, and I enjoy chatting with him, but the conversation is pretty much the same pattern. I want conversations with someone who uses different styles of speech. Someone who has a different perspective on life. So, that's about it. Just had that floating around in my head, thought I'd spit it out into the world, see what happens. I still hate MySpace!

Up to par

Ok, so I FINALLY feel normal!! It is great to not feel sick in any way. WOO HOOOOOO! I'm in a good mood, I'm excited.....I have a unique story for Flatiron City for this week. It's different than anything I've ever writen, and it pushed my abilities to the limit. (Not saying much, I'm a pretty limited writer.) I'm excited to be going back to work tomorrow. I've enjoyed my mini vacation, but I want to do something every day. ALL RIGHT!!! I'm also excited for the Christmas season, especially if I get to meet some cool new people ;-)

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Wanna write, wanna feel better

I want to get some good writing done. I'm getting better, but my story ideas really aren't going anywhere.

I'm not feeling up to par either. I've been trying to get over a cold for a week, and even though I don't feel sick, I'm physically exhausted. It's taxing to breathe, I just want to sleep. But at the same time, I want to go out and do something.

*sigh* I guess I'll just coast through the rest of my vacation.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I Hate Christmas!

So, the accursed psuedo-christian holiday is rapidly speeding toward us. Commercialized bs!! Time of good cheer, "celebrate family togetherness". BAH! Let's sell more Santa crap, toys, books, movies, games, STUFF STUFF STUFF!!! Yelling, screaming, fighting, impatience, "That's MINE, I saw it first!"

Enjoy the togetherness, feel the love! Have we really forgotten what this holiday is about? I wince in pain as I sit here thinking about the abomination it has become.

You may say, "But Giles, many people still celebrate Christmas for what it truly is about. Does your family not?"

As a matter of fact they do. And my entire family on my Dad's side is going to be in town this year, which means that when I'm not working, I'll be with them. Trying to make them feel important. It is important to me to give due respect to my Grandparents on their 50th aniversary, but everyone else is going to want to fill the time with worthlessness. There's no point. I gain a few trinkets, work my butt off, but all in all I'll be wasting yet another Christmas.

Three years in a row my Christmas is going to end up shite in a leaky bucket. And I'm pretty dead set on letting it.

"The holiday is what you make it." That's a lie. If it was true, I'd make it disappear.

I HATE CHRISTMAS.

But on the other hand, I love Christmas. December is my time of the year. I just long for it to mean more than it does. I see all these movies where Christmas is the time when magic happens, but life's not like the movies. Magic never happens. Some day, Christmas will be magic for me again! I SWEAR. I refuse to let the women in and out of my life ruin my holiday for the third year!

I love Jesus, and this Holiday is about Him. If I have to suffer through my family to honor Him, then that's what I'll do.

My Love, I long to spend this christmas with you, but I haven't even met you yet. Maybe next year.

Some day, in London.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Flood!!

So, my parents basement flooded, and this is the type of thing that stresses me out. At the most it is a minor inconvenience, since the only reason I go into the basement is to do laundry (that's right ladies, I can wash my own clothes!). Everything is pretty much cleaned up, the water just needs to dry. There are several industrial fans drying the carpet, and since the entire basement is on one circuit breaker, I have been advised not to use the laundry room. Bummer. We have also been informed that the problem MUST be fixed, and it's gonna cost at least eight thousand dollars. My mom is trying to find out if homeowner's insurence will cover the fix. Just pray that things work out. This is a big deal, and it's bugging me.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

So, how bout some fun

I bought Jade Empire today for 15 bucks. I wanted to get "From Russia with Love", the new Bond game. That game has Sean Connery as the voice of Bond. It's gonna ROCK! I like Jade Empire though.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

My value on the blackmarket

I am worth $1,985,124 on HumanForSale.com

Fantasy Realms

Fantasy Realms
I found this guy a couple of years ago through the site where I attempted to learne to draw. His site is Niko Geyer

Ummm....Update?

I guess this is an update. I haven't done much in the last week, except work. Work has been going well, my tips are going up some. It's nice to have some extra cash. Flatiron City might have an update from ME this week, even though last week was mine. Keep an eye out.

Friday, October 28, 2005

New post!!

Alrighty then. There is FINALLY a new post up at Flatiron City. Check it out. Gabe should have a post up later today!!! (It's to make up for the one we missed last week.)

Thursday, October 27, 2005

A Scanner Darkly

So, I'm looking on iTunes website for movie trailers, and I ran across the trailer for this cool looking movie based on the book by Philip K Dick. It's style is one of the best ideas I've ever seen, there's this commercial where a real man is talking and they animated all of his movements. That's what this movie is going to be like. It is increadible to watch the trailer.

I couldn't find an official movie site, but you can view the trailer through Warner Independent, or on the iMusic site through iTunes.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Checking new Firefox Extentions

(h3(k1n6 0n3 7w0 7hr33 (Leet speak) Grfgvat bar gjb (Rot13) That's just an example. I can get HEX, URL, BIN, Base64, and morse code. It's a nifty little extention. Not like the confusor :P

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

My space? My @$$

So, I just signed up for MySpace to get some extra exposure for Flatiron City, and I HATE that non-user-friendly POS!!! It was the most anoying five minutes I've ever spent on a computer. I want to wring the creator's neck, moron. Ok, I'm don ranting now XD

Me in Black and White

Woot NEW PIC!!
I still look 18

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Argh!!!

I am SOO PISSED at my manager right now. He scheduled me to close tomorrow when he KNOWS I have church tomorrow night. He changed the schedule yesterday, I think, and I looked at it a hundred times before that, and I was supposed to open. I didn't catch the change until tonight, and I don't think there's going to be anything I can do about it. I'll either have to miss church, or skip work. I'm not willing to do either one. I'm just SOOO MAD!!

Writing pt.2

One of the things I like about writing is that I get to play god. Now slow down, I do not blaspheme! Just let me explain. This morning as I'm prepping to work the story I posted a few days ago, I realized that I don't want to write that style of story. So, rather than try and create new characters and a new story, I'll write the "sequel" to the story I've already started. I'll keep working on the other story, but it'll be in the for of flashbacks and stuff. This is going to become an epic. I need to "steal" other peoples' styles, but that's fine, cause how many original stories are out there anyway? Mine is slightly original. I'm only using other styles and making them my own. WOOT I'm excited. Too bad I have to work soon. Gotta think things through. I'll make it happen though. HA!!

Writing

So, over the past few months, as I continue to delve deeper into the one thing I truly love, I realize that I don't care so much if I make money at it. I just want readers. Hundreds...no thousands..... no MILLIONS of them. If I can get paid to write, that's fantastic, but at the moment, I just don't care, as long as people are reading.

Now, I know I have readers, a few loyal friends here and there. How do I get more? I want as many readers as I can get. But I want to write, so I'm going to finish my breakfast, get dressed, and get some writing done.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Where's my music?

I find myself slightly agitated, as I would really like to listen to classical music, but the internet radio station won't come through on my computer. I don't know why it stopped, but now I can't listen. DANG IT, I WAS ENJOYING THAT! Anyway, I don't own any classical CDs (except the Legend of Zelda sound tracks that I downloaded...LEGALLY!!) so I think I'd rather sit in silence.

But I wanted music:-(

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A new venture

A little over a year ago, my first girlfriend and I created a character for a story. I named him Aidan. After she broke up with me, I became so heartbroken, I found it hard to write, so I started this blog. I remained silent throughout my relationship with Elizabeth, getting little writing done. But I never lost the desire to explore Aidan's past, or his future. Welcome to my world....my aspirations have grown even higher.


Introduction

So you’ve come to hear a legend. You were right to come to me; I am the only one who knows the whole story. Where shall I begin? Ah, yes.

In the beginning, a great being ruled creation. You would call him God, and that would not be wrong, but his name is much greater than that. Over the years, though, mortal man has forgotten his name, which is a pity since it is such a beautiful name.

Now, in the beginning, the nameless One ruled creation, but creation was quite empty, so he created the planets. He grew plants and animals, separating their homes with water. The animals did not fill the lonely void He felt, though, so he created men, giving them rule over the land and its inhabitants.

The nameless One saw that his people worked ceaselessly on the land in order to make it prosper, and though that pleased Him, He knew that is was not good. In a truly inspired moment, the nameless One created day and night, naming them Allion and Dellith, and commanded them to guard the planets. When Allion looked on the land, the people would work, and then man would rest under the watchful eye of Dellith.

Now this arrangement pleased everyone involved for quite some time, but after many years, Dellith desired to observe the people at work, so he encroached on Allion’s watch. Allion, desiring rest from his labor, did the same to Dellith, and though both wanted to experience the other’s charge, neither was willing to relinquish their duty.

The Great One saw what happened in His creation and stepped in saying, “I have given each of you a task, if you do not approve of my judgment, tell me and I will remove you from it.”

Allion and Dellith, thinking that they would be given something greater, perhaps a planet of their own to rule, both declared that they did not like their job.

Knowing their thoughts, the Great One said, “The power I gave to you, I will not remove, but from this day forward you will rule only those deceived into following you. I will take charge of the days and the seasons. Further more, I will cast you from my presence. But do not be deceived, everything you do will be known to me.”

On that day, the Great One formed a void and cast Dellith and Allion from His sight.

To this day, the pair fight for control of the people, reaching into the land of men and misleading many. We follow one or the other of them as if they are gods. In fact, over the centuries, most of us have chosen one or the other of them. We forgot the True One, and generations were condemned to the void to spend eternity with their preferred master.

Many centuries after the creation of the void, the True One revealed Himself to his people again, drawing a small number of them to Him. Many of us turned to The Way, the simple men allowed to choose, but those who worked in the temple of Allion or Dellith were cast out, rejected by society, and some were killed. Still The Way gained followers, and the True God gathered His creation back to Him.

I hope to have one post every week, but for now I'm going to try for every other week. Check out Flatiron too.

Copyright disclaimer

Just so everyone is clear, all work submitted here is Copyright Giles (me) 2005. ANY unauthorized use is in violation of applicable laws. Basically, ask me before you do anything with my work.

Friday, October 14, 2005

What should I do?

I find myself having a day off, not wanting to read, not wanting to write, not even wanting to play video games. I spent three hours at work (not working) because I am so desparately lonely that I just want people to chat with. If I don't get into some sort of life-fulfilling routine, I don't know what'll happen. Gabe has to work today, but when he gets home, I'm not going to want to hang out. Steve is entertaining his parents this weekend. All my other friends are either busy or married, so they have more important things to do.

I know I should be motivating myself to get some writing done, that is after all my passion, but as I sit unloading the contents of my brain, I am rather surprised by the speed at which I type. I need to get all this stuff out. Since I heard from Elizabeth two weeks ago, I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, and that's pissing me off. I don't want to think about her, I don't want to have anything to do with her, but I seem incabable of hating her, and I don't want to, I just want to forget her. I wish she could read this so she would know, cause if I told her I'm afraid I'd hurt her, and I don't want to do that, I just want to forget her, move on with my life.

That's another thing, I want to get my life moving again. I feel so stagnant. Tom is still thinking about aplying for that job, instead of actually doing it. I just want something to happen. I'm tired of waiting around, and I don't know what to do. I never seem to have anything to do but wait. The little action I ever get is over so quickly, then I spend more and more time waiting.

When will it be my turn for life to happen? My family is getting along nicely in their business, Gabe has tons going on; his blog, his family, his job. Steve likewise.

Tyler is joining the army, ships out nov 3. Tom has a booming social life. It seems I just am the boring one, as always. When do I get to write happy blogs, instead of feeling like b**ching about what's not happening to my life.

I just feel like my life is being wasted. Give me something to do, let me hang out with people, let me talk to someone. I'm sick of living life by myself. I want to share it with someone. I want to do more than just work in a bookstore. I want to write, but when will I get any good at it? I want to pay off my car, I want to go to London. I want to stop living MY life. I want the life in my dreams, where I mean something to everyone around me, and I enjoy everything that I do. I want to do something that really means something to ME. Not putzing around for two or three more years, waiting for something to happen. I want OPPORTUNITIES, I want something to HAPPEN!!!!! When? Why must I continue to wait? When will I get out of my rut?

I feel like the black sheep. Why am I so different? When will I be remembered. I know what's going to happen too: Gabe's going to read this, and he's going to write a comment about how I do mean smething to people, how God's timing is perfect, I just need to be patient. Erik might say something encouraging too, but that won't change how I feel.

I used to have a good deal of people in my life, people I could rely on, and not all of them were guys. I know we can never go back to the way things were. But I want women in my life again. I so want to share my life with a special one, and as I sit here, at my keyboard, struggling to contain my tears, I just wonder, when will my suffering end? When will I get to praise God for the big things, instead of just for the small. I know He still loves me, and I am greatful for the small things in my life, but I feel just so empty and alone. I don't want to do this anymore.

Just a note...

Flatiron City post is up. I'm going to try to start writing another series also, lets see if I can write two stories a week. I want to post once a week on Flatiron City, but lets see if I can duplicate that on a second site:-)

Tom and Tyler

So, my buddy Tyler went and passed his physical for the army on tuesday, he ships out Nov. 3. I'm excited for him because he's taking responsibility and providing for his family. For those who don't know, Tyler is one of my coworkers at Borders.

Tom, my supervisor, was planning on applying for a manager position at a local coffee chain because he's not making enough money at the store. That would suck because I like having both Tom and Tyler around, but if Tom leaves, I would hopefully (being groomed for it) get a promotion. I really want a promotion. I would deffinitely use the money wisely, cause I'd get a raise as well.

Anyway, that's about it for me, new Flatiron post will be up by noon.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Cute pizza

So Gabe, Steve and I went out for pizza tonight, and the girl who took our order was... um... GORGEOUS!!!! I mean DANG, she was HOT, and CUTE, not that I'm shallow or anything, but....aaahhhh :)

Monday, October 10, 2005

STUPID DRIVERS!!

I hate, hate, HATE Colorado drivers. On my way to work, this idiot in front of me was going 10 under, and when I got of on my exit, he was swerving between the right turn lane and the lane I needed to be in. And to top if off, he had a Colorado Native bumpersticker....GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA RETARD!!!! Learn to drive or GET OFF THE ROAD. MORONS, it's ONLY RAIN!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Living in harmony....not quite

So, I filled out the eharmony profile for myself. The only problem is I don't turn 21 undtil December, and I can't be a member until I'm 21. Oh well, I have the whole thing save, and then I can get matched by one of the best sites in the country. It wouldn't be such a big deal (not that it is) if I knew someone who I could get to know better in a romantic relationship.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

My best friend

My best friend, Gabe, just got internet at his appartment. First time he's had steady internet in almost a year. (had dialup but that was very iffy at times) He posted a poem that made me slightly depressed, and had like five responses to it. I wish I had more people who missed me like that. (broken record time) I want a group of friends, (I know you've heard it before, but who's reading this anyway?) I want to get along with all of my coworkers, and I want to GET MARRIED!!! Not a girlfriend (well you have to start somewhere though) but I'm sick of sitting at my house alone every day I have off. Video games can only entertain me for so long (and I just got a new one to play with my little brother). AAGGHHH!!! Just someone....that's all I ask.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

What the H-E Double Hockey Sticks?

So, yesterday I got a voicemail from Elizabeth. She said she would really like to be my friend again, that we should get together so she could find out what's been going on in my life. Now, I don't hate her, I don't want her to feel any pain from this situation, but I can't put myself in a position where I can't trust myself. I KNOW I would fall for her again, that's the way I am, and I refuse to get hurt again, at least that way. I'm not ready to renew that friendship. And I don't trust her. I can't trust her. Like it or not, she lied to me. It's not as if I want to remain untrusting, but I need to be careful.

My relationship with God, my job, my friendships with Gabe and Steve, and Flatiron City are my biggest priorities. They take up most of my time, so even if I wanted to spend time with Elizabeth again, I don't have time. I can't make time either. I need to get ahead of the game with Flatiron, I'm going to be getting some overtime at the store two weeks this month, and I have church a half an hour away from where I live two nights a week. I just don't want to spend any more energy than I am. But most of all, I WON'T get myself into a position to get hurt.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Baseball

I went to the Rockies game today with Gabe and my grandpa. Rockies won, we had good seats, it wasn't too hot or crowded. It was a fun, relaxing afternoon.

Oh, new post on Flatiron City

Go check it out!
NOW!!!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Time to [splat]

Uhhhh....I went and saw The Brothers Grimm tonight, it was a good movie. I found it entertaining, and it inspired me. On another note, I was slightly bummed to discover my netflix acount was billed before I got a chance to cancel my free trail. It's only 15 bucks, plus tax, but still, I didn't want to spend it.

My hours next week are low, but I'm gonna try to cover a shift or something. I know God will provide for me, he always has. I'm not worried.

So I'm sitting at my computer, I have Cowboy Bebop (best show of all time) playing in the background, and I want to write a story. So here goes:

An ealy night, I guess. Sun's just barely setting, but I think I'll turn in. How did I get here anyway? Oh! That's right; it all started six years ago, on a warm, starlit night.

She sat with her back to me, the lanterns grew dim as the fuel ran low. The innkeeper hollered out, "Time to go, the lights are low, now get out, or I'll kill you!"

He sang that every night, I taught it to him, learned in my traveling days. He thought it was funny, so did I. Where was I....oh yeah, the girl. As the tavern patrons made their way home, she just sat still, head bowed, her beautiful red hair conceiling a sad smile. "It's time to leave," I said. "Rooms are all full, and I know you're not renting a single one."

A tear dropped onto her table.

"That's not going to get you a room-"

"You knew my father, didn't you?" She looked directly into my eyes, I nearly fell over.

Yeah, I'd known her father. We were bounty hunters together, but that was another life, I didn't even fight anymore, and I said as much.

"Please help me," she smiled.

I had to choke back tears, her green eyes glistened in the fading light. "I can't help anyone any more." I turned to go to my room, but she placed her hand gently on my arm.

"I don't need much. Please, for my father."

I motioned for the innkeeper to bring us another pitcher of ale. I told him I would close up when we were done. I sat across from her and looked in those pretty green eyes. "Tell me what you need."

She reach up her hand and placed it on my cheek. She leaned over the table and kissed me. Not as a lover, more like....a...sister! My heart nearly stopped in my chest. I'd never experienced this kind of tenderness from someone before. "Just give me a place to stay."

What can I say? You'd like to think I would do the right thing, help out the daughter of an old friend, but did I make the right decision? I've asked myself that question for six years. That is why I lay down every night, before the sun sets.


Ok, it fizzled out in the end, maybe I'll come back and do something with it, but it's 1:40 now, and I'm tired. I can't think anymore. Goodnight.

IT'S STARTED IT'S STARTED.......

We FINALLY got it going. CHECK IT OUT MAN!!! Flatiron City

We want to have something up every week. We're gonna push for fridays, but since we had this one finished on a tuesday, we posted it. Ok, enough reading of this, go check out the site!!

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Church

So I just visited Flatirons Community Church. I enjoyed it, but it's 15 miles away from me, not on the highway either. I don't know if I can afford the gas to go up there every week. There isn't anywhere for me to get involved in a smallgroup. I need fellowship with other christians my age. I want people to hang out with hang out with hang out-. Sorry, broken record again. That's just what's going on. I'm going to check out another church tomorrow, one that's closer but no "college" group either.

That's all for now.

Monday, August 08, 2005

I need to write something

I really need to work on my story, but I can't think right now. Maybe it has something to do with my computer. I need to write on something else, but at the same time I don't like what I write. I want to get this story writen. I want to do something besides just sit around. I want to spend time with people, but I don't really know anyone. Cry for me if you must (sarcasm) I guess I'm not in too bad of a mood.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

A Quest for....Myself?

Have you ever sat and wondered, "Who am I?" Well that's kind of how I feel right now. I don't feel like I know who I am. My identity is lost, almost nonexistent. I know I am a child of God, but at the moment that's the only thing I can pin down. My name, what I do, what I like, they all seem irrelevant. I want to know who I am, then maybe I'll regain the confidence I had a year ago. Who knows.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Write write.....riiiiight!!

So, I started actually writing again, for the first time in like six months. I've worked on a story, the story, Flatiron City. I'm super excited, I have a project to work on, now if I can actually write something worth putting on the site:-)

Fun fun fun. I'll just blurb here for now, cuz I can't think and I don't have time to play any guild wars stuff right now.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Rob Thomas

Rob Thomas has this really catchy pop song out right now that says, "I don't wanna be lonely no more...." And that's how I feel. I currently have ONE friend that I can hang out with. I need more, I need fellowship, and I don't know where to find it.

I need to be able to hang out with people my age, but I don't know where to meet them.

I also don't want to have another girlfriend..............EVER!!!! Dating is a WASTE OF TIME!! I want to get to know someone and see them at their worst and their best. People who are dating tend to put their best foot forward. That's LYING!!!! I want honesty, but I don't know where to find it.

I don't want to be lonely anymore. I know I'm not alone, I just feel lonely.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Home....

I want to go back home. I don't know where my home is, but that's the place I'm longing for right now. I have this deep emptyness inside, and I feel like I have no place.....anywhere.

I want to know what God wants me to do with my life, but I just don't know how to figure that out. I was moving in the direction that I believed He'd called me to move in, but that involved someone else, and she isn't going that way now, and I can't do this alone. I know I've been called to a life that requires me to work with others, especially a wife, but now that the only person I've ever truly wanted to marry, and still do, has gone, I don't know where to turn. My life doesn't hinge on that, but now the vision is gone and I just feel lost.

I want to go home, but where is my home? Where do I go from here? What can I do with my life? Am I worth having around?

I know God wants me to continue the Bible study because people keep showing up, but aside from that I have no clue. I don't want to leave Colorado, but there aren't any good Christian schools here. The only Christian university in town teaches unbiblical lies as fact, and they refuse to change.

What next God?

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Flatiron City

So Gabe and I have started a new blog together, it's a story that takes place in Boulder Colorado a few years down the road. You should really check it out when we get it going. All we have right now is the intro post, but stay tuned as this is going to be big, in more ways than one.

Onto new stuff. Elizabeth and I are officially broken up, and I'm not anymore. I'm excited for where God is leading me.

I had an interview last Thursday for the Cafe Supervisor position at another store, and I should hear back by the end of the week whether or not I got the job. It would be nice to work at that store, and the job itself is really exciting.

If I don't get that job, I'll really look into going to school. I want to go to England when I pay off my car, but I would still love to go to Cambridge University. I'll look into Moody Bible Institute, one of the best bible schools in the world, but other than that the only thing I can think of to move forward is Police academy. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do next.

I bought some new music the other day, "Jaku" by DJ Krush (this guy rocks, if you get a chance check him out)m "Exodus" by Utada (cute girl, decent voice, worthy buy), " '64-'95 " by lemon Jelly (cool dance music, not sure yet how to describe it) and "Who Killed..." by The Zutons (rocks big time, one of the coolest rock albums I've heard in a long time).

I also bought the three books from Megatokyo.com, the webcomic. I really like the place, and I wanted Gabe to be able to read them, but since he has Dialup, I bought the books for him to borrow. I think that's all the news that is news, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

The World, it spins

I sit quietly, alone in the dark. The visions start again, visions of the future? No it is the madness again. All around me my sight it blurs. Flowing from my eyes, the tears run down my face. Incapacitated, I cannot breathe, I cannot move, I cannot see. Abandoned, all alone, no one beside, lost and alone.

The pain brings this madness time and again, I cannot control it, it won't go away. Around me it seems everything is in order, I do as I'm told by the One who rules me, and yet I am punished for a crime uncommitted, thrown from the path that He led me on. Who is wrong, the pained or the punisher? I want to believe that I am in the wrong, but the more I look at it, I cannot find my fault. I don't want to hate, to blame the one I love, and so the madness sets it, trying to confuse my mixed up thoughts.

The order of things has been run into the ground, as I lay here in torment, I begin to hear sounds. What is that, someone crying? Yes, it is I. For the pain that makes me feel like I'm bursting won't subside. I desire peace, an end to my torment, I cry for mercy, justice and rest. I do not wish to die, don't get me wrong. I long for sleep, but it will not come.

Oh to sleep in the arms of my Savior, the peace that He brings would be welcome now. To lay my head against His shoulder, never again to wake, that is what I desire. An end to my pain that inconveniences no one. But this peace will not come, so I resign myself to madness. Pain is my life, should I laugh.....or ignore it?

Saturday, June 25, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

One week later....

So, in cases like this, people tend to lose thier focus, especially on God, but that hasn't happened. I have not lost my dedication to the life that God has called me to. I'm starting to feel the pain again, it comes and goes. It's hard to let go of the idea that God brought someone into your life to minister with. It really hurts, but I still believe he brought Elizabeth and me together for a reason. When the time is right, He will reveal that reason to me, and until he does, I'll do my best to minister to the people in my life. I want to continue the bible-study, but I need a godly woman there too. There are enough women at the bible-study that I need someone who can minister effectively. I still believe that is Elizabeth, but I don't have any choice in the matter. She doesn't want to be involved in any aspect of my life at the moment, and I know she wants me to keep my distance. I pray that God will grab ahold of her and lead her where He wants her, even if that means I never see her again.

My faith will remain strong. God is my savior, I can't live without Him. I can live without Elizabeth, even though that hurts, it's possible, but I can't let go of God just because I don't see his plan.

It doesn't change my feelings toward her, I would still lay down my life for her, if that's what God wanted.

On another note, Gabe and I will be starting another Blog. This is going to be an awesome story, that may have a bunch of elements to it that will apeal to several different audiences. We'll keep you posted, but this is super exciting.

After I pay off my car (sometime this winter) I'm going to take a small vacation. I want to go to England!!! It'll be fun. Anyway, that's all the news that is news. I don't know who is reading this, but if it's Elizabeth, I'm praying for you, God will continue to lead you as long as you are willing to follow. Be willing to sacrifice what you want for what He tells you is best.

Monday, June 20, 2005

UPDATE!!!!

Ok, so it's been a crazy week. Last Tuesday, Elizabeth and I sat down and talked and I found out that she felt God leading her to brake up with me. I wasn't devastated, but I was surprised and hurt. I didn't hear from her again until last night when we sat down and actually talked about what was going on. The long of the short is, God is calling us in different directions now, so we both agree that we should not be in a relationship. We don't see ourselves getting back together, but we are still going to hang out occasionally.

It doesn't hurt anymore, the conversation confirmed things in my life and my relationship with God, and I know this is best. That doesn't mean I don't still want to be with her, but that will come and go. I know God has different plans for our lives, and I pray he will bless the both of us as we seek out our futures in Him.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Episode III

So, I know it's late, but now for my Star Wars rant. I saw it opening day (not the midnight showing, you freaks) and I have to say I was disappointed. Does anyone else share my sentiment? This trilogy just didn't stack up to the original. I mean, I was entertained by the movie, but it just left me feeling like I'd lost a part of my soul. I wanted to cry, not cause I was sad, but because it just lacked what it needed to live up to the cult. Oh well, that's just my opinion.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Bible Study

So Tuesday didn't happen this week, nobody came. They did say they would come next week, so here's hoping.

Elizabeth and I talked to our parents on Monday about marriage. We're kind of considering next April, but we're open to God changing that. Elizabeth's parents think we are moving to fast, and mine think we are moving too slow. We'll just continue to pray and try to do what God wants us to do.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

La Dee Da

Cowboy Bebop, a genre all it's own. I'm watching it now as I type.

I've been playing guitar a bit, I'm enjoying being able to play things I couldn't play before, but I can't write lyrics anymore. I just feel like I can't write anything anymore. My creativity is gone. I want to be a writer, but if I can't write any more what am I going to do?

Creativity has seeped from my mind, I lose my trains of thought before they leave the station. I run out of fuel and I just give up. I live out my life as if this is all there is. My life is forfeit to God, but what is He doing with it? I'm excited to begin this bible-study on tuesday. Fellowship is something I miss. I have meaning in life, but the things I enjoy have gone from my life.

I want to disappear for a while, be on my own with no obligation to anyone, really find myself. England sounds nice.

I'm happy Elizabeth is back in town, I missed her while she was gone. I can't wait until we can start our life together. As to how England relates to this, I would love for her to come with me.

I need to get my life with God fully straight before Elizabeth and I can start our life together though. I'm sure she'll read this, but she knows my heart and how important my relationship with God is to me. He will always be first in my life, and I know that will make our relationship stronger. I pray that she'll continue to put God before me in her life as well.

I care about her so much. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I leave it in God's hands, but I do get impatient now and then. It's not bad, but sometimes I just want what I want when I want it. God's timing is perfect, mine is flawed like none other, so I'll wait. I just want to make her happy, help make her life easy. But that's not life. It's never easy, even with God. He puts difficulties in our way to make us trust him, and I don't want my interference to get in the way of her relationship with Him. But sometimes it's hard to watch people you care about suffer. I never want to spare her from a chance to grow. Pain often leads to growth, I know, I've experienced a great deal of it in my short life. Not to the same degree as others, but pain is pain. It hurts and seems like it'll never go away, like you'll never recover, but God can use it to make you stronger, if you let Him.

Now that I've rambled, I'll let you get on with your life.

Till next time.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Dentists are fun

Sort of. I saw the dentist today, first time in seven years. He said I've been taking really good care of my teeth. YAY!! No cavities, he didn't say I needed braces, I don't have any gum disease. Cool huh! But even better than that, I didn't have to pay a thing! Insurence covered it all. Praise.

Our bible study is starting up on tuesday. I don't know who'll be there, but I know God will bring the right people. I know Gabe wants to come and Elizabeth will be there. Her sister and brother in-law are in town, so I'm going to try to get them to come. Other than that, who knows.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Apple - Trailers - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Apple - Trailers - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

The Worship Last night

So, it went well. I made a couple of mistakes, but I don't think anyone noticed. Elizabeth did really well. I am constantly impressed with her. They asked if we'd be willing to do this again some time, so we might have something almost regularly.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Guitar Trouble pt. 2

Alrighty-dighty then. I got a call from Josh at Crossroads (my church). He's the guy who plays guitar for the youthgroup worship team. He was calling to find out if we were still playing and he's letting me use his guitar. Praise. Yay:-)

Guitar Trouble

So, Elizabeth and I are supposed to go play at my church youth group tomorrow night. I borrowed a guitar from an aquantence of my brother, but when I plugged it in, the pickup didn't work. Now I have to scramble to find an accoustic by tomorrow night with a working pickup, or I'll be forced to mic the POS that I practice on. Well, we'll see what happens.

Friday, April 22, 2005

A short update

So, I've been talking with my mom about my music venture, and she suggested that I contact a friend of thiers, so I did. He has extencive business background, both non and for profit. I don't know how much this is going to help, but at this point, I need all the help I can get.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Twiddle my thumbs

I take too longe between posts.

It snowed yesterday, almost 2 feet in my part of town. It was cool. I didn't get to work much though, but I think I'll live.

Elizabeth and I have gotten our first "gig", we'll be leading worship at the youth group of my church on May 12. I'm excited that things are starting to happen. We already chose four worship songs, and we'll be doing one song that she wrote also. Pray for us.

I think that's all the news that is news, until next time, I'm Giles.
ttfn

Monday, March 28, 2005

Cards for fun

So, one of my co-workers is going to teach me how to play poker. I already know the basics, but he's going to teach me how to win. This guy is a poker wizard. I've also been playing cards with Elizabeth's family quite a bit lately. We usualy play Phase10, wich I enjoy, and we also play Rage (I think it's German). My life is moving along, slowly, but it's going somewhere.

Monday, March 07, 2005

I'm frustrated

I'm just frustrated with the direction my life seems to be stuck in right now. I know I'm not really stuck, but it feels like I'm just not going anywhere. I need to finish paying off my car before I can really do anything else with my life, like go to school, which I really don't want to do.

I'm trying to get back into my writing, but that seems like the only thing I can do. The music thing has come to a screeching halt, at least on my end. Elizabeth is still writing songs, songs that astound me, but there really isn't much that I can do with her career. I don't know how to work the taxes if we make somehow manage to get ahold of the money we need to record the album, and I have now idea how we'll even get the money. There are just so many things that I need to do, stuff that God needs to provide a way for, and I'm going to try to be patient, but I don't believe that God wants me just sitting on my hands until something happens.

So that's my frustration, but I can praise God that I got a raise, that I'll be getting the hours I need to pay off my car earlier and save up to move out and ge married, but that's about it right now.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Uh....It's been a while

Yeah, I've been busy with lots of stuff lately. I'm managing my friend Elizabeth in her music career, so that's taken up a good deal of time. I've been trying to figure out how to raise five to ten thousand dollars (without taking out a loan) to record an album. I was thinking of setting up a tax exempt ministry, but that costs too much, so I'm thinking of some other options.

In other news, Elizabeth and I are "official". We are "dating while pursuing a deeper relationship". That means we're really serious. I really like her, and I can't believe she's with me. God has blessed me greatly since Sara dumped me:-)

I'm almost done with Chapter 4 in my book too (first draft). Um... that's all I can think of to update now.

Friday, January 14, 2005

A twist

So last night I was hanging out with Elizabeth, we watched Troy and talked. I had a lot of fun, I really enjoy my time with her. I think I might have a future with her. That seems to be the way God is leading me, but slowly. I'm patient this time around. I'll wait as long as I need to, and if nothing happens then that's alright too. Ok, no it's not alright, but it wouldn't suck too badly.

God please lead me.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

New car

So I picked up a car yesterday, a '97 Civic. I didn't get a chance to finish the paperwork, so I need to go down to the dealership today and do that.

It's snowing again, they're expecting four to five inches in some places, which sucks because I bought a manual, and I don't know how to drive one yet, so my parents are "letting" me use their car, which needs to get the brakes fixed. Oh well, I'll be working on that this afternoon anyway.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Time to knuckle down

Now that I've taken nearly two months of from writing, it's time to get back into the swing. Unfortunately, I still can't think, so instead of working on one of my projects, I'm going to "rant" on my blog. (That is, after all, why I started this thing.)

So, next week I'm going to go get a "new" car, probably a certified preowned Civic. That's exciting, but I don't know if I'm working enough hours to be able to afford it. I'm sure I'm over-estimating the cost, and I am get more hours at work, so we'll see.

In my last post I told you I had a potential project in the works; I'm probably going to become the manager for my friend Elizabeth. She wants to be a professional singer, so I'm going to see if I can help her get on the road. Ever since I heard her sing 4 1/2 years ago, I knew she had a future as a performer. She also has an incredible heart for other. I love how much she cares for others, how she wants to minister to those around her.

I'm sure this sounds like a rather simple arangement, now here's where it starts to complicate; when I first started to get to know Elizabeth, I started getting a "crush" on her. She didn't like me "that way" which was hard, but we still grew as friends (groovey, thumbs up). This "I like you, but you don't like me" thing went on for a little over three years, when it got so bad that we finally decided it had to end. That was the end of the friendship for nearly eight months.

Now, a little over a year since we said goodbye, I found out that Elizabeth likes me. Funny, huh? We both thought so too, becuase I'm not ready for a relationship. That's not to say I don't like her, I'm just not at a place in my life where it can work. I know, if we're both willing to try, anything can work, but I want to make sure I'm pointed in the direction God wants me to go in before I start including others that deeply in my life. I need to make sure that God is the center of my life to such a degree that I'll never lose focus on him.

But at the same time, I know Elizabeth would always encourage me spiritually. I guess the biggest thing is I like where our friendship is now. They say, "Why ruin a good thing." But I don't consider this a "good" thing, this is great. Our friendship, the trust we have, and how comfortable we are just hanging out is GREAT! I just don't want to ruin that.

So I ramble on because I need to be in the habit of writing, even if this writing has nothing to do with my projects. I don't care if anyone reads this or not, but this is easier on my hands that writing in a journal. It's helping me organize my thoughts too.

I know I need to get my car nailed down first, then I need to get back with my writing and work with Elizabeth, after that, school, but who knows from there? We'll see.

Thank you God for your guiding hand in my life.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

I got a new phone

Cool, huh? For those of you who know me, the number is [Deleted for security purposes]. So, my Portland is no longer any good. For those of you who don't know me, please don't call, I don't want a bunch of calls from people I don't know.

No more Portland number, means only people who I choose to share the number with can get a hold of me anymore. Take that all you who WRONGED me. Never shall you get a chance to redeem yourselves! HA!!

Have a good week.