I sit quietly, alone in the dark. The visions start again, visions of the future? No it is the madness again. All around me my sight it blurs. Flowing from my eyes, the tears run down my face. Incapacitated, I cannot breathe, I cannot move, I cannot see. Abandoned, all alone, no one beside, lost and alone.
The pain brings this madness time and again, I cannot control it, it won't go away. Around me it seems everything is in order, I do as I'm told by the One who rules me, and yet I am punished for a crime uncommitted, thrown from the path that He led me on. Who is wrong, the pained or the punisher? I want to believe that I am in the wrong, but the more I look at it, I cannot find my fault. I don't want to hate, to blame the one I love, and so the madness sets it, trying to confuse my mixed up thoughts.
The order of things has been run into the ground, as I lay here in torment, I begin to hear sounds. What is that, someone crying? Yes, it is I. For the pain that makes me feel like I'm bursting won't subside. I desire peace, an end to my torment, I cry for mercy, justice and rest. I do not wish to die, don't get me wrong. I long for sleep, but it will not come.
Oh to sleep in the arms of my Savior, the peace that He brings would be welcome now. To lay my head against His shoulder, never again to wake, that is what I desire. An end to my pain that inconveniences no one. But this peace will not come, so I resign myself to madness. Pain is my life, should I laugh.....or ignore it?