Thursday, February 23, 2006

Three in a row

New FC up. Enjoy.

Here I am again.

Ok, so I'm sitting here at 3:30pm wondering what the heck I'm going to do tonight. I really don't have anyone to hang out with, and since I've actually been writing all day, I want to get out of the house. I want to do something with someone, but who could that be, I wonder. I don't like the idea of nightclubs, and I don't want to spend any money. Ho hum, I'm sure I'll figure something out.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Haha, iWhat?

VG Cats Ok, so I'm a pretty big Apple fan, but you have to admit, this is pretty funny.

Monday, February 20, 2006

My biggest problems....

Ok, so I almost paniced this morning because as I was digging through my files, I came accross my passport and I decided to look at it, since I'll be using it in a couple of months. I flip it open and discover that it did not expire in 08 as I previously believed, but may of 03! Now I have to get a new one. It's not a big deal, really, just something else to consume my time.

But I started thinking, if my biggest problem in life is running around trying to get my passport so I can travel abroud, then I have a rather easy life. No, I don't have a lot of money, but I'm not really stressing out about that. God has always provided for me, and He always will. So, I'm feeling a lot better than I did this morning, just going through and reality checking my life.

Thank you God for all the blessing You have given me:)

Saturday, February 18, 2006

People confuse me

Ok so, it's been colder than a witches brass monkey the last couple of days, and it was really slow on thursday at my store, really busy today and yesterday. I don't get it, the weather wasn't really any better any of those days. So....except for having to make half&half runs yesterday and today, it's been a good couple of days. I made a good deal in tips yesterday, and almost ten bucks today! Fun fun, I'm in a good mood.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

New post!!

Ok, Flatiron City has a new post up, two weeks in a row too!!! Wow, I never would have thought I could do that. Think of what could happen if I truly committed to it again! Lol, enjoy it, if you please.

:-)

----edit 10:34 pm----

So I didn't get any work done on my mystery project today, I went in to the place where I work to get some coffee and warm up, pick up a mystery so I can actually read one (it's been a long time since I've read one, but I watch a lot of them on TV), and think about/create more characters. I got caught up in conversation with a couple of my coworkers, a regular customer, and my own wonderings about what I should be doing with my life. But I DID get something up for FC! And that makes me somewhat happy.

I just feel so caught up in everything else that is or isn't going on in my life. Everyone I know still seems to think that I need a girlfriend, and I'm starting to believe them again. I don't want one, though.....at least....I don't want to work for one, and I won't make someone do all the work in a relationship, I'm not shallow. Be that as it may, I don't want to put any energy in a romance.

I don't have any problem putting effort into friendships, investing myself in ministry, working my butt off for my writing, but that's about it. My heart is so strongly drawn to God right now, an that sounds sooooooooo "perfect little christian boy-ish" of me, but it's true. I don't have anything against relationships. I just want to honor God with my life.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Now it gets hard

Ok, so I have a detective, a villian, a victim, and a scapegoat (to connect the detective to the murder). Now I have to flesh out a cast of three dimensional characters, and this is going to be a rather large cast, I think. The hardest part is deciding who and what I need.

I know I need to have a romantic interest for the hero, and I have an idea for that. I need a mentor, and I have an idea for that one too. I guess I'll start there and see what happens after.

Stupid fscking relationships!!

Ok, so I signed up for eHarmony again, and I got matched with someone in another state because I decided not limit the search radious. My third match wants to talk....SHE WANTS TO TALK TO ME!!! Now, don't confuse this with excitement.....because I'm more irritated that I can't talk back. I can't afford the stupid $60 a month fee, and I sure as heck am not going to sign up for a year at this point. Aghh, I can't even answer her "five questions" without signing up. And I don't just want to close the communication. I don't want to be rude.....and I know I'm looking to hard at this, but these are real people here. I'm not desparate for a relationship, wich makes me wonder why I signed up again...GABE!

I don't really want a relationship, but now that I've truly said that, and I know that I mean it from the bottom of my heart, God is going to hit me with one >:P All I want to do is serve God somewhere in the church and write as much as I can. I don't want to get married....or even have a serious relationship, and I'm not so shallow that I'm going to look for "friends with benefits" because that's just stupid. At least I'm writing now. Aghh human interaction is way to complicated! I'm not good at utterly selfless, and it suck being totally selfish......what do I do? I'm frickin broke, I haven't even gone to college.........wow, this is bugging me pretty badly. I guess I'll laugh about it while I fume all day.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Detoure

So, we have a project up on Quill and Think, but I'm not feeling it. I really don't have much of a desire to write what's been asked, but I probably will write it because I could use the practice. I find myself wanting conversation again. It's one of the things I've been really enjoying about reading Don Miller's works, he writes almost as if he's talking with you.

My relationship with God is getting better, I have to say I've haven't felt this close to Him in a long time. I want to keep it up, it feels like a relationship again. On that note, I'm getting the desire for great conversation again. My new friend Julie kind of releaved that desire the couple of times that we hung out. She's very artistic, one of those people to keep an eye on for great work to inspire the soul. Anyway, I want someone to chat with. Deep conversation. You know, intelectual intimacy. I really love talking with God, by that I mean praying, meditating, and reading His word. I want to talk with someone about it though. I want to talk about the things that get my heart racing. And I want to listen to them, pray for them, find out what makes them praise God. So, I'm writing this blog, trying to figure out what I should do tomorrow.

I guess that's why I want to go to a club so much. I want human interaction, but clubs won't get that for me, church seems to fall short as well. And I'm going to show up late, so bummer there. I don't want to be late to church, but if I don't go late, Gabe doesn't have a ride, and that's not acceptible either. So, I won't get to hang out with people before, maybe after. I'm not sure why I go out of my way to write this stuff, though. I only have two readers, and one of them is Gabe, so I'll pick you up at 6:-)

Sometimes.....

I amaze myself. Not to say that I'm increadible at what I do, just that I get something accomplished when I don't always intend to. I got a post up for Flatiron City, but I didn't expect to this week. And it's pretty long, and I'm happy with it. Not to say it's great, it could probably use work, but it's up, and that's what matters at this point in the evening.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Whoa!

Wow, busy week. I've had a great deal on my plate. I can't believe how much I've gotten done and how much I still have to do. What a busy little bee I have become. I love having a "full" life. I just wish I wasn't so lazy, then I could get even more done. I don't feel stressed though, so I still have room to breathe.

Hoo.........need to get stuff done.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

A prayer

Dear Lord,

I come before you in praise. I want to thank you for everything you have given me, from the little things such as a good night of sleep last night, to the large things, like my job, family, friends, home, and especially for the salvation of my soul. The gratefulness I feel is dificult to put into words, but I know you know my heart.

When I think of the things that I have, I feel so utterly selfish, because even though I have been extraordinarilly blessed, there are things I still want. But I'm tired of asking for things for myself. To begin, I would like to pray for my family: Thank you so much for providing for them and blessing their ministry. Thank you for the encouraging example my parents have been to me over the years, and for blessing their marriage to keep them together for twentyfour years, and counting:-). Please continue to provide for them and give them an abundance to be shared with the people you bring into their lives. Please continue to use them to glorify you. Please be with my brothers as you guide them to their futures. Please help them to see your hand in their lives, and show them how you will use them. Please draw them closer to you so that they will be leaders in every aspect of their lives. Please provide loving wives for them, women who seek to honor you as much as, if not more so than they do. Please bless them.

For my friends: I have so many of them, believers and non-believers alike. Please use me to minister to them, and if you have any reserved blessings for me, please use them for my friends. I have enough already, and so many of them need it more. Help them to follow you, to seek you with every aspect of their lives. They have been there for me so many times, and I feel so fortunate to have been blessed with people who seek you, who challenge me to seek you, and for the little chances that you give me to shine your light. I don't know all of their needs, but you do, and I ask that you please provide for those needs, and even give them the deepest desires of their hearts in accordance to your desire for their lives. God, my two closest friends, though they have people in thier lives, seem so lonely, they desire to be married, and I know you know this, and you have the perfect person planned for them, so I ask that you please fill them up to bursting with your love, joy, and at the very least a contentedness to wait for your perftect timing. And please be with their future wives, just as you are with my brothers', and give them the wisdom to know the path that you would have them follow.

For the friends that I have hurt, I don't know the extent of the damage I have caused in the twenty one years of my life, but I pray that you will be just and give them what they deserve, even if it means taking form the share you have set aside for me. God, I want to honor you with my life, and that is all I need. You have given me so much, all I ask for myself at this time is that you give me enough wisdom to follow you, to honor you, and to not screw up as I have in the past.

God, take me and use me. Make me a tool for your work. If I am not willing, I am at least willing to let you make me willing. I don't want to wait for the future, but I don't have much of a choice:-) Please give me the patience I need. God I love you, and I pray that you will bless everyone in my life, who ever has gone from my life, and whoever I will meet in the future. God please take my selfish heart and mold it to reflect you.

I am nothing without you, and I thank you for loving me.