Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I feel really sick

No, seriously....I'm going through some stuff that is making me see just how out of control I am. I don't have a problem letting God remain in control, it's just rough riding shotgun when He starts pulling donuts in the ice parkinlot. That's kinda how I feel. I know He will take me to the best place for me, I just need to trust him. I'm at peace, too, just motion-sick and wondering when it's going to stop.

I'm going to fill out an aplication to volunteer at the Denver Children's Hospital. I'm excited but scared to death. I've never dealt with the pain and suffering of others very well, and I love kids. I'm expecting to get really sad and depressed for the first couple of weeks. Pray that I'll have the strength to minister to those kids.

I want to quit my job again.....like last week. I want to work with people on a deeper level than what I do. I know, you read this already. I haven't been to the hospital yet, but if I won the lottery (no, I don't buy tickets) I would try to go for at least eight hours a week. I want to work with people. That's my heart's greatest desire.

I also want to be married. That'll happen in God's time. I just need the wisdom to discern when His time has come. I need wisdom in general.

Writing has helped, I don't think the "panic" will go away completely, I just need to remain calm and focus on God. Pray that I remain focussed on what He has for me. Pray that I have the wisdom to know what He has for me. Pray that I'll be patient. Pray that God will use me to minister to the people around me. Pray that GOD will be glorified!

Let me know if you want prayer. I'll pray for you. I have a bad memory, but I'll do my best to remember what you need. You are a lot more important to me than my needs are. I want to pray for you. So let me know if you need or want prayer.

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