I have less than 60 pages to proofread before this manuscript is ready for the query process. And I must admit I'm scared. I've worked very hard on this book, and I'm excited to draw near to completion. Part of me wants to start celebrating my success today, even though I'm not done with it yet.
Another part of me wants to sit back, relax, and revel in the fact that it's "all down hill from here." The last few pages have been edited several times over, and I'm quite confident in their quality. Part of me knows that this section of edits will be easy. And I want to just let the book edit itself.
It won't do that, though. I HAVE to edit it. I have to keep working, pushing, striving to make this the best book it can possibly be. I've already said that this is by FAR the best book I've ever written. What that means in the context of the publishing marketplace is yet to be seen. And I don't mean that to be self-deprecating. I know many people who loved this book. Teachers who want to give it to their students.
And I still love it. It makes me want to continue writing. But I'm so close to the end of this project that I want to coast through the finish line. It's like I've reached the last thirty minutes of my work day and almost everything is done for the day. All of the projects left can wait until the next day, so I find something easy to do and get back to the nitty-gritty tomorrow.
I'm actively fighting these desires and thoughts because I know that giving in would amount self-sabatoge. Apathy can be dangerous. In many ways, it can be more dangerous than "active" laziness.
I have high hopes for what comes next in my writing endeavors. And that excitement is pushing me to finish this project well while enticing me to simply jump to the next step and skip the last 60 pages of my book.
How do you feel when you're almost done with a project? Are you tempted to give up? Do you embrace the process and ignore the end-goal? Do you skip ahead for any reason?