Friday, September 13, 2013

Fear and Excitement

For the first time in almost a year, I feel like I'm part of the writing community again. When I worked on my project, I found myself focussing solely on the project, interacting with my critique group, a few writers I know from twitter and facebook, and no one else. At all. Despite my attempts to remain interactive with the community, I couldn't bring myself to do it. And I know it showed in my blogging and twitter feed.

Now, I feel like I'm out in the world again! It's exciting, and I'm very excited to pitch my book. I've already sent out three queries this week, and I'm going to send out one more by the end of the day tomorrow.

It also makes fear resurface. Not fear of success or even fear of failure, simply the fear of the unknown. What's the result going to be? Will I still be excited by this project if/when I start getting rejections? Will I get full requests or offers of representation? Will those offers be the right offers for me, and what will I do if they're not?

It's a lot to think about, and it turns my stomach in both a good way and a terrifying way. Part of me wants to celebrate all of my success, but the rest of me is constantly remembering that I need to keep working, enjoy what I've accomplished, but refrain from major celebration until I start moving forward again.

Just some random thoughts for this surprisingly sunny lunch break.

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